need help no more physical contact gf not being touchy at all
Posted Fri Jan 21, 2011 04:36 PM
Posted Fri Jan 21, 2011 04:45 PM
Posted Fri Jan 21, 2011 04:55 PM
Posted Fri Jan 21, 2011 10:39 PM
Posted Fri Jan 21, 2011 11:51 PM
Posted Sat Jan 22, 2011 12:56 AM
Posted Sat Jan 22, 2011 03:24 PM
Posted Sat Jan 22, 2011 03:53 PM
Posted Sat Jan 22, 2011 07:09 PM
she is 19 as well and we have been together for 3 years
Posted Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:00 PM
i have been feeling this way since the end of November we had sex the weekend of the high school play, then one month later again. in between that time you would tease me with your body rubbing against me and more but just teasing until then month was up. then we went about three more weeks with out anything again and still you would tease me driving me crazy and not believing me when i told you what you were doing to me. Then we hit your period when i understand you do not want sex yet you tease me. then we have the Monday before your birthday when you say you have a surprise for me showing me that you shaved and you said its a surprise for later. then your birthday comes you go for your test then out with Taryn the plan was to go to the movie then dinner but nope. so we went to dinner then to tired so you said we could go Thursday but nope did not go then either nor did we go during the weekend.
I have been jumping through hoops for you because i love you but its starting to hurt me i have not been able to touch you more than a kiss yet you can rub against me and make me hard and tell me you have a surprise for me then leave me hanging over and over. all i have wanted to do is be with you and spend some close time with you but you have not wanted to. i have told you how i have felt but you do not see it.
then today you tell me you feel like a whore because of us having sex since when have you felt like this and why i have treated you with nothing but love and respect. also you feel i am pressuring you i am not nor have i ever tried to pressure you. I love you a lot and i miss us but you do not seem to notice how i feel at all. i guess you feel you own me or something cause thats how i feel you like seeing that you control me.
THAT WAS THE EMAIL I SENT TO HER SO THIS MORNING SHE WAKES ME UP AND STARTS SAYING HOW SHE READ MY EMAIL AND SAID WE COULD GO TO THE MOVIES TODAY IF I WANTED TO SO WE WENT TO THE MOVIES WE SAW "NO STRINGS ATTACHED" WE TALKED A LOT TODAY AND THINGS SEEMED TO WORK OUT SHE SAID NOTHING ABOUT WHY SHE DID ANY OF THIS. WE HAD THE HOUSE TO OUR SELVES TONIGHT WE EAT DINNER AND JUST AS WE FINISHED HER MOM CALLED ASKING MY GIRL FRIEND IS WE COULD WATCH HER 16 YEAR OLD SISTER I DID NOT PROTEST BECAUSE IF I SAY I DID NOT WANT HER SISTER THAT I WOULD BEEN AN ASS SO I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING. NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS STUPID AND KILLED ALL MOOD WE HAD THAT NIGHT. THEN MY GIRL FRIEND ASKED ME LATER WHAT WAS WRONG AND I TOLD HER I CANT PROTEST BECAUSE THEN I AM AN ASS. THEN SHE SAID WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO NOT HELP MY MOM AND I SAID THAT IS WHY I DID NOT SPEAK. WHAT SHOULD I DO
Posted Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:34 PM
Posted Sun Jan 23, 2011 11:52 AM
If she won't communicate about it, then there's not a lot you can do other than ask if you want to stay in the relationship? You're young and can have a fulfilling relationship if she is willing to change what ever is stopping her from wanting to make love with you however, you can't let it slide for too long. You'll end up resenting her and her you.
I feel for you sweetie. xx
Posted Sun Jan 23, 2011 03:35 PM
I was on your side until this post. It looks like you both have issues. You don't seem to talk, and you feel that helping out with family is just a PITA, but you don't want to say anything because you will get yelled at. You know sometimes stuff in life happens and a night may get ruined from time to time. You are in a multi-year relationship, you should care enough that if she has an obligation you would *want* to help out even if it means you don't get laid that night. You complain that she is not talking to you, and that she probably mad at you and you don't know what to do, maybe you should figure out why she is mad at you and fix that. You pour your heart out into an email about how you aren't having sex, and her response is 'maybe we can go to the movies'. You said you talked and 'worked it out' but she didn't say why she was behaving that way. I don't understand how you could have worked "it" out when you don't know what "it" is.
She said that all you do is have sex and she feels like a whore. Maybe she has a point, what things do you do as a couple? Clearly there is something bothering her, and it may not even have anything to do with you. Have you tried talking to her about why she is upset?
Posted Sun Jan 23, 2011 04:28 PM
So here is what i have for you...
Understand that both of you are young, and i am going to assume that if y'all have each had previous partners you have not had that many. Thus, you both are lacking experience in the sex department. This can cause problems. If you do not make the effort to make her happy, why would she want to have sex? Along with that if she does not know what gets her going and makes her happy in the bedroom, how can you read her mind and give her what she wants and please her? Also if both of you stay close minded to having sex and not expanding your horizons, why did y'all even start to have sex.
Just like your relationship requires work, so does your sexual relationship. Both parties have to put forth the effort and if both parties don't nothing will be accomplished.
Sometimes relationships are sexless, it happens, we as humans go through a lot of changes, physical, mental, ect. Sometimes these things just take time. Give her time giver her space. Be respectful and try to be encouraging and helpful to whatever she is experiencing.
The biggest thing is COMMUNICATION, i can not stress to you enough how important it is to communicate with each other, Both parties need to communicate together!!! This does not mean via email. If you can not handle having a mature conversation with the girl you have spent 3 years of your life with, WHAT on earth are you having sex for and why are you in a relationship? She needs to be able to talk to you and if she cant do that, maybe you aren't doing the right things, or maybe she is still very immature. You need to openly talk to her, and if you cant do that, maybe she isn't doing something right, or maybe you still are immature. There is a bigger problem then sex by the sounds of what you are telling us.
So you both need to sit down, with out distractions, and talk about how both of you feel, if she wont open up, maybe you should consider moving on or taking a break. Likewise, if no understanding is accomplished then maybe you have met your end as a couple.
So like everyone else has said you need to communicate with her and talk through whatever is going on.
Posted Sun Jan 23, 2011 05:01 PM
Posted Mon Jan 24, 2011 04:35 AM
I'm glad you guys are making progress, but there's no way in hell you guys have worked out everything.
Posted Sun Jan 30, 2011 08:30 PM
It sounds like she is really confused, you may also be as well.
You both sound too immature to have a serious relationship just yet. You are both on different pages and you need to work out what to do with the relationship, sex is thae last of your problems at this point.
I wish you luck and hope you can work things out for real.