Work, Relationships and Awkwardness
Posted Wed Feb 23, 2011 10:32 PM
Then one day, just hanging out to work, we started having an interesting conversation about sex, fun, interesting ideas, stories and the like. We then started hanging out a bit more often and started having some hillarious and entertaining conversations such as playing games like thinking about various combinations of toys or people we would want to to have a fling with, to even what things we would want to try or not try. Normally in my place of work, this sort of talk is not in the norm and it was very fun and refreshing being able to talk with someone freely and openly about these things without either getting evil glances and hushed whispers surrounding talking even remotely about the subject of sex.
While these conversations continued between her and I, they got both more exciting and more interesting (swapping porn suggestions, crazy and creative ideas, etc). Now some background information, my previous relationship past has always been a bit of a dud in this department (either partners that werent willing at all to have sex or just simply not interested in trying out different things). This never really bothered me at all as I was always in it for the longterm partnership and can compromise in some areas. That being said, I started thinking maybe all this heated talk isn't just innocent talk but maybe a signal for something more (in my previous history ive been bad at reading the 'signs'). So i decided to give it a go and asked her out straight up. Unfortunately it didn't end well and while she did enjoy the conversations and fun talks we had, she just simply wanted to be friends.
After the bruising to my ego, I now come to my problem. We've continued to have our fun conversations since then but yet I always end with the feeling of no satisfaction. It always ends up with me feeling that despite all the creative scenarios we come up with, all the fun and dirty talk we have, I will never get to do it with her. I love hanging out with her and having these talks, it just feels so liberating and well fun, but it just seems that I'll always end up being disappointed. Is it me? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak? How can I still be friends with her without making this all awkward? Can you even have a platonic relationship with a friend yet have dirty conversations?
Sorry about this wall of text, i tried to be as succinct as i can
Posted Wed Feb 23, 2011 10:36 PM
If you don't think you can just talk to her about sex and goings ons, amongst other things, then it would be best if you curtailed that part of your conversations in future.
I'd also be wary about having sex chat in the workplace, it could be misconstrued or used against you if you and her ever fell out over anything.
Just be careful and I hope you stay friends, it sounds like you have a great laugh together.
Posted Wed Feb 23, 2011 10:42 PM
What I'm getting at, is if your guys' friendship is based around this dirty talk, then you're going to have to break it off.
If not, then as Duchess said, you've gotta stop having this dirty talk with her and keep it professional at work.
If you like chatting with women about sex, it's probably best done outside the office, IMO.
Posted Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:54 AM
Posted Thu Feb 24, 2011 08:25 PM
Yes. Sadly, she chose not to take things further, but she did make that choice, which is far better than toying with you.
That depends on what you do. Let's be honest here - chances are low she'll wake up in the middle of the night smacking herself for not fucking you, so for now to the friendship room ya go. But! there's always a chance of her changing her mind. It's up to you if you want to keep that possibility open so long as you don't expect it. Respect her choice on this.
Again it's up to you. I know she is all the more alluring because she's very open to things in ways your past gf's weren't. She's not the only one out there. I think you'll have an easier time staying friends with her so long as you keep looking around for someone who does who wants to share it with you. Otherwise she'll just be that ice cream cone you can't lick.
If it does get too much, scale back on that kind of talk.
Really? You don't talk about similar stuff with your guy friends?
Posted Fri Feb 25, 2011 03:19 AM
Just a thought, but perhaps, she turned you down, because most of what you talk about is sex? If I engaged in that type of conversation with a man... and that was the majority of what we talked about (or at least this is how I understand your relationship with her..??) then I honestly am not sure I would want to pursure anything 'romantic' with this person. Quite frankly, maybe she's bored of you because of it.
Posted Thu Oct 20, 2011 09:57 PM
If I could chime in, us men being what we are need to be very careful with explicit sexual talk with females that we have a platonic relationship with. Its too easy for things to get out of hand. Do not mistake a female discussing sex with you as an indication that she wants to have sex with you.
As a general rule relationships with co workers are not smart. I had one with a co worker a while back and within 2 weeks of our relationship ending she got fired. I sure as hell did not want that but Lisa(my ex gf) assured me that her head and been on the chopping block for a while and that they were quietly looking for her replacement long before we broke up. That did not make me feel any better.