Long distance advice
Posted Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:14 AM
Posted Mon Mar 21, 2011 02:25 PM
My advice. Take it slow. Understand that half or most ofwhathappens on here is fantasy. So youneed to realize she may talk to other guys. be nice. Be friends get to know her. Don't worry about meeting her. Just have fun. The time will come if it isserious enough when you will meet. Set some ground rules so you know where each other is at. Don't lie.
Have fun. This is a great site for finding friends.
Posted Mon Mar 21, 2011 03:16 PM
Do alot more talking to each other to get to know each other better, than maybe have cam sex if yous are both comfortable with that.
Ask her alot of questions about her and tell her that you would like to know more about her, ie, her interests,hobbies, music and films she's into. That knida stuff.
Just take your time with her and other stuff will fall into place as yous get to know each other better.
Posted Mon Mar 21, 2011 06:20 PM
its been a long bumpy road and I wouldnt do it again I will say that much.
Posted Mon Mar 21, 2011 06:32 PM
Posted Mon Mar 21, 2011 07:32 PM
Posted Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:30 PM
I talk to a SF member who lives far far away in the US while I'm in Canada and I love our daily text convos and one day he'll get me on the phone I'm sure...he's pretty convincing when he wants to be lol..but I'd never go as far as to say I consider that a relationship..he's just a friend who is pretty hot yet also hilarious and nice to talk to. We both converse with others and he's a friend..maybe one day we could meet we've joked about it..not sure if he's serious...but I'd never uproot my life to be with a guy. So take it slow and don't jump the gun...get to know one another and see where it takes you both.
Posted Tue Mar 22, 2011 07:23 PM
i met an exchange student who was here studying for the year. we hit it off and had an awesome 8 months together. inevitably she had to return home to europe.
we stayed in touch talking weekly on the phone. i wont say it wasnt hard because it was. more so when you go out with friends and meet new girls who are conveniently right in front
i stayed true through it all and she eventually moved here to canada to live my life style. was it worth it? yes. for me it was, that doesn't, however, mean that it is right for you.
having never meet the person that you're talking about i would advise extreme caution as my relationship was almost destroyed by an online fling i had with some one i never met face to face.
Posted Wed Mar 23, 2011 02:08 PM
But I will say unless you plan to meet in the future or relocate to that person I Dont believe it is a great idea to get so wrapped up that its like dating over the internet. I just feel there is alot of pain to be felt even if its just over the internet. The heart still hearts the same if things dont go great.
I think the internet is a great place to have fun, Live out some fantsies and meet alot of new people, I dont believe its the best place to find love, mainly cause its usually sepereated by alot of distance. But then again this is all comming from a guy that also doesnt love or make connections in real life.. I jump from casual sex to casual sex. So maybe I aint the best for advise.
Posted Wed Mar 23, 2011 02:11 PM
You will read a lot of what you already have. I will focus on one key part though that has mildly been touched, Honesty...Honesty from yourself, dont expect it from the other becuase like said before, you never know with online. If your honest and things go to hell, you know you kept yourself honest and there is no blame to you, unless you fucked up, I am/was (complicated) in a LDR, I have been honest with her the whole time, I cheated on her once with someone who was right here, she forgave me becuase I told her right away(I am a lucky SOB, dont try it). If your an aggressive personality or fast-paced, you are going to have some issues shortly if it keeps up, you will chat, then want to call soon, then video more, then you will be dying to meet her in about all of...3 months, I know, thats me. I was lucky, I met her and things weren't different at all. If your a passive patient person, LDR's can be great because you can take the time you need to get comfortable with each part and then when you meet it will be more amazing then you realize now. Slow is important, talking is SUPER important but even more so is being creative and doing something special for her that you make with your own hands or make via a video maker with a song she likes with pics of her and you (not together or together, doesnt matter), or photoshopping something sweet for her, or looking online for a site that will send her virtual flowers and such with a cute little saying attached to it. those will definately help your cause if its serious, its been a couple days, reserve yourself and dont try to rush things and be honest with her. never stop being honest, cant stress it enough cause once you've lied one time, how does she know your not lying again, she cant always see your face, same goes the other way so you have to have faith in her that she isn't lying to you. Paranoia is the seed of destruction in relationships. it will tear it all down and leave pain all around.
I hope this has helped, keep me updated, I would like to know.
Posted Wed Mar 23, 2011 05:32 PM
Posted Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:55 PM
LD = hard. add Online = hard. like anythin im sure it can work if ya put the effort.
the physical aspect of bein apart, not touchin...that seems tuff to live w/o and stayin faithful. i need regular contact and intimacy, i couldnt do it.
actin on somethin ovah the net. thats a big investment.
have i had a crush on here? yes, absolutely. do i think anythin will cum outta it? no. i think this person is awesome and down2earth. i have more fun than i evah expected but its a sexy friendship (LD), not a love connection. this doesnt mean i dont think hes special or worth it. he holds a place in my heart as havin had an impact, makin the online experience a truly wonderful one and showin me real carin can be felt thru the net. if he or i are gone tomm, that impression wont leave me. all this bein true doesnt make me wanna pack my bags and move, lol. im sure hed be glad 2 hear that actually.
i agree not to get wrapped up turnin this into online datin if ya not prepared for potential disappointment or heartache. on here its easy to connect with people who have an easy-goin attitude, enjoy a good time, dont take themselves 2 seriously. people i would party with and people i honestly hope the best for cuz i cant help gettin attached and invested in their happiness. i know on some level i love these people but im not in love with anybody.
have fun online. meet great interestin people, give of yaself but be careful with ya heart.
its hard 2 take things at face value, wonderin if those round ya have ya best interest in mind, which ya cant expect em to, ya have to be self-aware and cautious. i didnt know if this would be easy or hard. found out that just becuz ya on the net doesnt mean ya dont hurt just as bad when times get ruff. sometimes its worse cuz ya cant hug the person to let em know everythin will be ok and ya risk all the special words ya have shared disappearin as if they were nevah said.
kudos to those who can find love this way. i dont know if i added anythin cuz im not lookin for love, im steerin clear of that on and offline as i enjoy my recent single life.
i will say what i have here is surprisingly more special in some ways than datin becuz there are no expectations, only a mutual desire to have fun and a genuine wish for the otha to be happy, whether it be with me or not and im ok with that.
wish ya the best.
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 01:04 AM
one thing is for sure if you really want to pursue it's hard to have a long distance relationship for my experience didn't work, hoping you will be successful and want to hear your story once you survive.
Posted Thu Apr 14, 2011 12:13 AM
Posted Thu Apr 14, 2011 03:30 AM
Just dont dictate her be polite and calm....
Best Of luck