New Sex- Feeling akward.....
Posted Sat Apr 02, 2011 09:13 PM
Now that we are not together I feel horny all the time, and recently met someone I cared deeply about, but when it was time to have sex, I froze and chickened out. Then I thought it was a better idea not to get feelings involved, and posted an ad in CL looking for just casual sex, but it was worse. I did meet a couple of great guys who told me they would be patient but once again, I stood them up, and refused sex. I get nervous and anxious just thinking on having sex with someone new. Will it be awkward? Will they think I'm attractive enough? I so want to get this over with and just have sex to know that I can do it, and see what is it that I've been missing, but I just can't. Any advice, thought, feedback is greatly appreciated
Posted Sat Apr 02, 2011 09:20 PM
This post has been edited by tenyn: Sat Apr 02, 2011 09:21 PM
Posted Sat Apr 02, 2011 09:37 PM
Yes! Those are the feelings. I feel like at my age I should be more experienced, but ex didn't let me do, try, experiment most things in the bedroom. I like the idea of a fuck buddy but I don't know where to start, and yes, I'm a little insecure and self-conscious. Thanks for your input.
Posted Sat Apr 02, 2011 09:43 PM
Posted Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:44 PM
Thanks a lot! That is exactly what's happening to me, and I've been lucky enough to find caring men, but the problem is me I guess, I shut down emotionally/physically, but you might be right about the rushing out part. Maybe I'm not ready yet and just need to give it time. As for the vibrator, I already own one, I have to change batteries more often than I want to. Thanks for your input.
Posted Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:53 PM
I hope you can work it out soon. You seem like a very sweet girl and you are a much too gorgeous not be happy.
Posted Sun Apr 03, 2011 03:01 AM
Posted Sun Apr 03, 2011 04:14 AM
Posted Sun Apr 03, 2011 05:47 AM
Your mind is really saying that you need to have security, respect, trust, caring and all those things that a great relationship has....which is why you got married in the first place. Getting to know someone to build a strong relationship takes time. Ask yourself... Would this person take care of me if I was sick? When you have those things, then venture into sex...you will enjoy it much more and look forward to being with that person...not just for physical pleasure. EDOPHOLETEUS
Posted Sun Apr 03, 2011 07:42 AM
when we become so focused on something it always seems so hard to get past it. I would try to remember it's a new experience.
I wouldn't be worried about it too much. from your post you're obviously a person who cares about their potential partner
and looking to make the best decision. I think that you did the right thing by not having sex when you felt uncomfortable.
it's just going to take the right person, and the couple idea may be something you want to investigate as well.
This post has been edited by TheShade: Sun Apr 03, 2011 07:42 AM
Posted Thu Apr 07, 2011 07:49 PM
Posted Fri Apr 15, 2011 08:58 AM
I think in general a lot of girls think all we guys want is sex, that's not true.
I belive you need to go back to basics until you are ready for more.
Find a guy you like, clearly that is not a problem as you have already done that.
Tell him about your broken relationship so he knows where you are coming from, (or not as the case maybe), LOL.
If you think you would like to have sex with him, then create an evening where you end up back at his your place, or his. But remember, you would have already told him that you are not ready for sex.
Let it get late. Then ask him to stay the night, with you, but no sex...... yet.
Keep your underwear on.
Cuddle up, kiss, caresss. But all the time he knows and you know, sex is not on the menu.
I bet a weeks wage that if you really do like your chosen partner, you will be having sex within the hour.
Take the pressure away from the situation and your obvious desire will take over. If it doesn't, no harm done, but the trust for him would have grown even more.
I bet it will be great.