45 Ways to Torture the Pizza Guy
Posted Wed Apr 06, 2011 09:01 AM
2. Make up a Red hippos name and ask if they accept it.
3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.
4. Finish the order with: “Remember, this conversation never happened”.
5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.
6. Just give him your address and say “Surprise me”. Then hang up.
7. Answer his questions with other questions.
8. Spell the ingredients.
9. Stutter every time you say something with the letter “P”
10. Ask him if they have pizza.
11. Say “Hello” and act as if he called you.
12. Make your order being very decided and secure, then when he asks you if you would like a drink with the pizza, act as if you were confused.
13. Change your accent every 5 seconds.
14. Ask for 56 pepperoni slices followed by an equation.
15. If he repeats the order to make sure, say “Ok, it’s $17.90, please proceed to the next window to pick up your order”.
16. Explain him that you want to rent a Pizza.
17. Ask if you can keep the box. When he answers yes, make a huge sigh of relief.
18. Ask him if they exploit child labor.
19. Tell him to make sure that your pizza is dead.
20. Imitate the voice of the guy taking the order.
21. Eliminate the verbs of everything you say.
22. Tell him that there’s a surprise party at yours and that you would appreciate if the delivery boy could hide behind the couch until the celebrated one comes in to surprise him/her.
23. Ask if you could see the menu.
24. Warn them that they have no idea of what they are dealing with by supplying this order.
25. Ask him which ingredient is better for a meal with a specific type of wine.
26. Burp and then tell your dog that he should be ashamed.
27. Ask only for one slice.
28. Psychoanalyze the guy taking the order.
29. Complain about the service. Call again two hours later saying that you were drunk and that you are sorry about what you said.
30. Tell the guy taking the order to tell the one in charge to tell the supervisor that he’s fired.
31. Randomly start swearing to someone who is apparently next to you.
32. Stop speaking every 10 seconds and start playing an instrument.
33. Tell a secret code to the guy taking the order and tell him to memorize it for orders you’ll make in the future.
34. Ask for mushrooms as the first ingredient, then before you hang up, say “no mushrooms please”. Then hang up before he can say anything.
35. when he repeats the order, correct him changing an ingredient, then correct him again, and again. The third time ask him if it’s his first day working there.
36. Breath loudly.
37. Ask him how many whales/dolphins had to die to make that pizza.
38. Avoid using the word “PIZZA” by any means. If the guy taking the order says it, hang up saying “Please, don’t use that word”.
39. Make the order during a car chase on TV. When there are gunshots, yell “Aaarghhh”
40. If the guy taking the order doesn’t take any of the previous jokes, ask him if there’s any other who would take them.
41. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
42. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
43. Order a steamed pizza.
44. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
45. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
Posted Wed Apr 06, 2011 03:58 PM
Posted Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:10 PM
Posted Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:42 PM
Judging by my usual performance y'all can guess where this is headed.
Yep. That's right. A BA64 is exactly where this is headed.
We loaded up in a borrowed BA64, drove over to their house (in full uniform), and informed them in perfect Russian that we were there to deliver their pizza. Well they couldn't understand a word of what we were saying, but they were 99.9999% sure it was hostile, and weren't exactly happy that we had parked a 6 ton military vehicle on their lawn, but there wasn't a whole lot they could do about it, so they just slammed the door, went inside, and called the cops, who refused to believe that there was a 60+ year old armored vehicle parked on their lawn, which gave us plenty of time to evacuate the premises.
Honestly, I don't think they ever called pizza hut again either... I can't imagine why
Posted Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:44 PM
Posted Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:16 AM