how do i bring it up to my girlfriend
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:20 PM
advise will be greatly appreciated, thank you
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:23 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:27 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:29 PM
I know it sounds like you're doing all the work, but maybe she doesn't know where to go for inspiration or is embarrassed to bring up new things.
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:30 PM
I agree with bella about Cosmopolitan. They always have some sort of sex tips or suggestions for things to try or polls from readers about what they like/do... If she doesn't have a subscription, maybe you should buy her a copy the next time you are at the store and see it near the register. She can look through it, mark pages, rip out articles or things she wants to try, etc.
Whatever you do, definitely bring this up gently. I know I'd probably be pretty hurt if my fiance told me he wasn't satisfied with me in bed or mentioned that my skills were lacking. It would definitely bruise my ego for a while, and I'm sure it would hurt my feelings and make me feel unattractive. Don't use the word "dissatisfied" or "unsatisfied" or "lacking," etc. - words that could indicate you want to experience better sex (i.e. sex with someone who's better at it than she is).
If she's inexperienced, you may have to hold her hand for a while and guide her in the direction you want to take. It may take some patience with her. And when she does something well or tries something new, recognize that she's improving or acknowledge that she took a risk. Give her a lot of praise for stuff like that - i.e. "Oh, baby, it was so amazing when you...," or something like that.
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:33 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:36 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:41 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:50 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 07:56 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 08:03 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 08:11 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 08:16 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 08:45 PM
It's nothing wrong with either of you, she just sounds extremely submissive. I'd recommend being completely honest about it. If you don't communicate with her, then she'll never know what you want.
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 08:58 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 09:14 PM
Nah, her girlfriends are probably just as bad as she is... I'm with Wouchgirl here. I think she's the type that needs to be told exactly what to do. I understand you're probably not entirely comfortable with the idea, but I think you really need to do something to get out of the rut, and make things moving a bit in whatever direction.
Buy a toy and just go ahead and use it on her. You have to be careful though, if at some point she tells you to stop, you should, but otherwise try to be firm in what you want to get out of a session without scaring her.
ETA: you should ask her to join the community too. If you think she'll feel awkward and what not, have her contact me and I'll chat with her.
This post has been edited by Olive: Sun Apr 10, 2011 09:15 PM
Posted Sun Apr 10, 2011 09:25 PM
Posted Mon Apr 11, 2011 07:04 AM
Posted Mon Apr 11, 2011 05:43 PM