Married over 25 years, sex fantastic, still have very regular sex, never enough for me but thats not a problem, even joined the swinging scene for six years, which was great. We masturbate together for a while most times we have sex, and sometimes we masturbate together the whole way, love it.
My wife asked me several years ago how often I masturbate and what do I think about when doing it. I told her most days and that I think about loads of things but always come back to her when I cum, which is true.
I asked her how many times she has masturbated since we have been married and she said ones or twice, but that was years ago. Since she wants sex a lot less than me, I totally believed her. She knows that I am ready and willing 24/7 so I guessed there was no reason for her to do it.
About six months ago, I was just getting off to sleep after sex. I really wanted a bonk but she didn't, but she said I could. I don't like sex like that but she insisted that while she didn't want to come she will enjoy it anyway so I should do what ever I wanted. So I did, we kissed goonight and I was nearly asleep. But then I felt she was beginning to do herself. I went with the deep breathing to pretend I was asleep and she started working a little harder. I was confused. Had I turned her on and she then needed an orgasm? Should I turn over and help? I decided to move slightly, like I was beginning to wake up. She stopped! I then started breathing deeply again and she started playing again. She came, I smiled, but was left a bit confused. She clearly didnt want me to help or even know. I guess I was a bit upset, but I never mentioned it. I wank a lot aftter she is sleeping, has she ever known? Even though we have advanced sex, I have never been caught wanking and wouldn't want to be, so I have never mentioned it.
However, last week we were watching a program in bed that had a beautiful lesbian scene. As she was having pre monthly pains I never suggested sex as she is always so off it just before she comes on. But after I got to sleep I was woken with her playing again. Please remember, this has never happened before in 25 years, besides the instance mentiioned above. Clearly, as I began to wake, she realised and stopped. I started the deep breathing again and she started playing again. I waited a while and then decided to turn over towards her so that I could place my hand on her. As I turned, she stopped, I pretended to still be asleep and then move my hand when she strarted again. After a couple of minutes she had got going so I moved my hand onto her tummy and said gently, do you want some help with your orgasm. She pronounce I had just woken her up and what was I talking about! I got the cold shoulder.
I usually talk out anything over the next few days but I don't know what to say.
We had great sex a couple of nights later, instigated by her.
I guess I have loads of questions, such as:
Am I not enough for her now?
Has she always been doing it but never in our bed next to me? But that doesn't make sense as she will always put on a show for me.
Is she having an affair? God knows where and when and there certainly isn't any signs of it.
Should I talk to her about it? After all these years we shouldn't be embarrassed but I still wouldnt want her to catch me at it. No, thats not right, I would love her to catch me at it if she smiled and stripped off to join in, but I guess my concern would be she would turn away.
For the first time in over 25 years with my lovely wife, I am unsure what to do.
Your thoughts please.
This post has been edited by dude8472: Mon Apr 11, 2011 07:28 AM