Posted Sun Jan 14, 2007 05:50 PM
So I hooked up with this guy, who I'm sexually attracted to, a few weeks ago. I'm 21 and still a virgin, which I think has something to do with it. We made out, but I wasn't getting that turned on. As soon as he started fingering me, it hurt like no tomorrow... and I endured it for a bit, but then had to get him to stop. I thought it'd get better if I waited and endured it, but that wasnt the case. I think I was just too tense. I told him I was a virgin, and we never had sex, I'm afraid I left him with blue balls... he was totally ok with not having sex, which was surprising, as he's not a virgin. How can I make next time better, because I tried relaxing and it didnt help? Also, after what does a guy get an erection? Will they get it just from making out, or does it only go hard after someone touches it? Stupid questions... i know.
Posted Sun Jan 14, 2007 06:19 PM
Posted Sun Jan 14, 2007 06:27 PM
Posted Sun Jan 14, 2007 06:30 PM
Posted Sun Jan 14, 2007 06:46 PM
As for it hurting, it's going to. No lie my first time hurt and that was it. It was his first time too so I don't doubt that some ladies enjoyed it after a while. I don't know how long the pain lasts because my first time was all of two or three minutes. There was a lot of foreplay but it still hurt. The second time (a day or so later) was not bad at all as far as pain. Though it was at least a day or two because afterwards it was like I'd gotten my period.
An important thing as I look back now is that I trusted him and I trusted that he cared about me and that he was not going to hurt me, even if the act had to be painful in some way. I wanted to do it and I was very sure of myself in that moment so I had no inhibitions slowing things down either. After having lost my virginity 7 years ago now and having had my share of sexual encounters since then there is one constant that I can tell you and it will hopefully ease your mind a bit. No matter what man I am with, or what experiences I have had, or how comfortable or confident I am: if I am worrying about something, sex will not be as satisyfing, I will not be as turned on and therefore not as wet, and the only way to fix that is to work through the emotional issues before working on the physical. If you try to just go through with it anyway, well that's all you'll be doing and that's no good.
Most women will agree that emotions play a huge part in how a sexual encounter feels, no matter how many you have had. So go slowly and explore each other and be a little daring and if you feel a little uncomfortable (perhaps at your first time having your hand on his penis or something like that) don't be scared, just pause and instead of pulling away just try to relax and adjust to what you are doing. You don't have to go all the way just because you started to. That may not sound nice or fair but it's much worse to do something you aren't comfortable with.
Posted Sun Jan 14, 2007 08:12 PM
Posted Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:20 PM
looney bin escapee said:
lol, i like the way this girl thinks (points to previous post)
Posted Mon Jan 15, 2007 01:24 PM