Posted Thu Jul 28, 2011 08:03 PM
Posted Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:13 AM
Posted Fri Jul 29, 2011 06:31 AM
Posted Tue Aug 02, 2011 09:38 PM
I'm not going to try and give out advice, or try to play psychiatrist, but I do believe that a little genuine positive reinforcement never hurts... so here we go!
You and I have never talked, nor do I know anything about you, but from my perspective I see a young woman with a fun, sparkling personality who also possesses a magnetic and contagious charm. I can't speak for everyone, but I would hazard a guess that I'm not the only one who shares that opinion.
You also just so happen to be blessed with one of the most sexy, sensual female forms I have had the privilege of laying eyes on. You're fun (morning boobs!), charming AND ridiculously hot – a devastating combo.
Anyway, I fully realize that hearing "you're hot" from some silly dude on a forum with a name like cunnyfunt probably holds no merit, but hope at the very least it made you smile.
You're a pretty rad gal in my books, Squirt.
Posted Wed Aug 03, 2011 08:08 AM
It sucks, and so often people don't understand. I hate it when they tell you to pull yourself together.. if only it were that simple.
Posted Wed Aug 03, 2011 08:11 AM
Posted Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:20 PM
I've also heard that vitamin D3 helps - especially if you don't get out in the sun a lot - as well as fish oil. For the fish oil, I read that people of certain regional heritage (I think it was Scandinavian, but I'm not sure) required more Omega-3 and those that were deficient or only consumed a "normal" amount had higher rates of alcoholism and depression. If I can dig up links to the studies I'll post them, but again, side effects of D3 and fish oil are almost null. Some doctors have prescribed as high as 20,000iu of D3 in some cases, but I wouldn't go over 5000 to start out with. I don't know that there is an upper limit to how much fish oil you can take.
Posted Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:01 AM
Posted Thu Aug 04, 2011 09:15 PM
I've had an ongoing battle with depression that started when I was 17, and that was in 1991. And depression does not discriminate between the sexes: both men and women get it. I understand how you feel about not wanting to wake up the next morning; I've gone down that route and tried to not wake up the next day. (Several times). And don't feel stupid for typing what you have done ok. You are just venting, and getting some things off your chest. There are people that frequent this section of the website, and you are not alone in your depression ok.
Posted Fri Aug 05, 2011 02:00 AM
Posted Sat Aug 06, 2011 05:44 PM
Posted Fri Aug 19, 2011 08:41 AM
doctors? treatment? as if they can get in my head. I go to therapy, and it's useful for some things... not for this. I agree no one should have to live like this... but sometimes there is just nothing that can help.
Talking with others who are suffering the same thing gives you validation, but that's all...
I wanted to post something upbeat and helpful, but all I can say is I'm in the same boat with you hon... along with a few hundred thousand other people. All I can suggest is to surround yourself with people who understand you and care about you, because that will help you hang on... but as to fixing the problem... :: shrug ::
:: hugs squirt ::
Posted Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:23 PM
All the best!
Posted Sat Aug 20, 2011 08:34 AM
Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius
both books follow a stoic philosophy and are filled with words that encourage ones individuality and the importance of every living thing in the world. Hope this helps.
Posted Mon Aug 22, 2011 08:01 PM
At times I can get really worked up from terrible drivers on the road as I have no patience for people who do not know the rules of the road. If you can't learn to drive properly, you shouldn't have a license.
As for personal relationships, well, there aren't any. I haven't had sex in 3years and counting, and the first time, unfortunately, was the result of a hook-up off of Plenty of fish..... Don't get me wrong, she was a great girl and we actually had a good bit in common, but, the intention wasn't a relationship and after we had sex 3 or 4 times, that is what I wanted. I was never a one night stand kind of guy and when she didn't want to continue our "arrangement" if I wanted more than just sex, I wasn't real happy and I broke contact with her. I don't think it makes me crazy to want more than just meaningless sex out of life...does it? I want all the little things that matter as well, just being with her, feeling close to her, being her man etc...
I don't have any close friends, really. I mean, there is a small group of us, 4-5 people, that get together weekly to play trivia at a local bar and we usually talk a little on FB, but nothing really close. I've told them that I have depression and 2 of them really have seemed to change their view of me, almost like I'm some sort of monster and they have to be careful around me or something.
I had a realllllly hard time telling my friends that I suffer from depression. It makes me feel like a lower person, even more useless and worthless than I already feel. In my family, only my mother knows, mainly because she noticed it the most and mentioned that she also has/had depression. I feel like I can't tell the rest of my family as I don't want them to think I am weak. I try so hard sometimes to try and be something that people can look at and say "hey, he really has his head on straight" etc.. that I feel so fucking terrible when I do or say something stupid. I am so hard on myself it really can't be healthy, but having no confidence, self esteem or self image can do that to a person, I guess.... I want to inform the people close to me of my situation so they may be able to have an understanding of why I do/say some of the things I do. But, my attempts at building a false wall of confidence to hide my true "identity" supersedes my want to finally let my emotions out and maybe let someone in to help. I guess I have this false sense of ability in that I think I should be able to just heal myself and not put my BS burden on anyone else, I mean, everyone has their own things going on, why should I push my shit on someone else?
I was diagnosed in January of this year, but, in my opinion I've been depressed for the last 9-10 years. I am almost to the point of thinking I took way too long to get help and there is nothing anyone can do for me anymore, I'm too far gone and I'll never be able to live a balanced, healthy life. When I was younger I figured it was just high school BS and it would end upon graduation.....wrong..... It fucking haunts me everywhere I go...I always seem to find something negative to think about, feel insecure about, feel worthless or useless about, no higher than a piece of dust in the corner. I can't afford to get counseling as my medical coverage only covers $500 every 2 years, what would that cover 2 visits? What the fuck would that accomplish? Can I afford NOT to go? Since I can't answer these questions, I've had to rely solely on medications prescribed by my family doctor. The first one worked great for 2-3 months and then stopped working, so he switched me to another and it was so-so, so he upped the dose, worked ok but now it's not doing anything anymore. I'm crazy about taking meds every day, but if it helps, even just a little bit, then that's what I want to do...
However, I think I am too good at holding most of my emotions in and putting on a false front so people can't see me for what I really am....Some people think I'm just an asshole when I get defensive in some situations, that's ok, at least they don't actually know the real reason, I'll let them think I'm an asshole...
Not really sure where I was planning on going with this, I just started typing and then felt the need to vent a little bit....But, as others have said, I know where your coming from. Squirt, I just want you to know your not alone and it's not just females that get depressed, more and more males everywhere are finally starting to come out of the "dark closet" and starting to get some form of help. It's not a fun experience and hopefully we can all help each other through it. I don't know any of you personally, but, now you know a lot of me that only a select few in the world do. Internet anonymity can be good....maybe...
Posted Mon Aug 22, 2011 08:02 PM
Not sure whether you are aware of what causes this depression or sometimes it seems all encompassing. Depression comes and goes, you'll have highs and lows. I guess you're 23? Your 20's are rough time or at least in my expreience. I'm 26, things haven't turned out anywhere close to what I thought they would be growing up or even a few years ago in college life,work you name it everything is so different and depressing a lot of the time. For me that is cuz I haven't been able to really accept my bisexuality. I deny it to myself whether it's porn or a hook up. The truth is that depression will come and go but the key to happiness is accepting yourself, appreciating yourself for who you are doing the things that make you happy and realizing that even if you don't get 100% of what you want out of life you are pretty amazing.
In real life you have friends and family to help you and for those things they can't there are other people out there like on here to work through stuff and let it out.
Posted Tue Aug 23, 2011 03:17 PM