Is this an irrational fear, or should I be worried?
Posted Sun Mar 04, 2007 02:01 AM
Personally, I don't have a problem with this, it's not my life's goal to have sex just so I can say I did it. I have not waited due to religion, and I'm not holding out for the perfect guy either. I dated a lot in high school and while I liked the guys I was with...I didn't care enough about them to have sex with them. So I waited, thinking I would have plenty of time to find someone that I really cared about.
I started my own business right after high school and since then I haven't dated much since I'm always working. Well, time flies faster than I thought it would and I'm not getting any younger.
So fast forward to now, I'm dating someone that I'm sure is going to be my "first". I care about him and I want this to happen. I'd jump him right now instead of typing this if I didn't have this one problem....which is that I'm scared to tell him that I'm still a virgin.
I have this fear that he'll suddenly see me as some type of looser because I'm in my twenties and still looking to get my cherry popped.
I know you can't have a good relationship if you can't share these kind of things and not shiver in fear over it, but as stupid as it may seem, I am afraid to admit this to him. It doesn't bother ME to be a virgin, but it bothers me that it might bother HIM. Am I making any sense? (and no he's never done anything outright to make me think it would bother him. I'd feel the same way with anyone, not just him)
Guys, would you care if a girl my age was still a virgin? Is this something that would bother you?
Someone tell me I'm being irrational and to stop being afraid over something so stupid. In fact I probably wouldn't be one anymore if I could get over this hang up, so see, I'm shooting myself in the foot. LOL
Posted Sun Mar 04, 2007 02:20 AM
Posted Sun Mar 04, 2007 04:06 AM
Posted Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:13 AM
Stop being irrational. You are shooting yourself in the foot. The truth about guys is that we see ourselves as super studs if we can de-virginize women. The fact that you were picky with yours will only make the guy feel better about himself.
The only thing that could ever be viewed as a potential downside about having your girl be a virgin in the beginning is that she will have to learn as you go. The good news about that is that for guys WE LOVE TEACHING GIRLS WHAT WE WANT THEM TO KNOW!!!! So THERE IS NO DOWNSIDE TO YOUR SITUATION!!!!
So when you decide to tell him, if you really want to fire him up and make him think he is living his dream tell him like this;
"Baby, I want to tell you something that is important to me. My whole life I have been waiting to find the right person to teach me about sex. I have not been able to find him untill now. I want you to be my sex teacher. I will do whatever you tell me, and the only thing I want is for you to teach me exactly what I can do to please you. I am yours."
I wrote that and I almost blew my load just thinking about a girl saying that to me!!!! Stop being irrational- you do not have a problem, what you have is an absolute advantage!!! Good luck and Go Get Him!!!!
Posted Sun Mar 04, 2007 07:32 PM
Posted Sun Mar 04, 2007 09:46 PM
Posted Mon Mar 05, 2007 02:35 AM
Beaucr, after reading your reply I got to thinking a little more and he probably would be the type to feel like a stud. Great, he already knows he's hot stuff, I don't know his head will fit through the doorway anymore after this. LOL
I'm going to take your advice and ask him to teach me along the way. That'll probably be best for both of us.
Pilgrim, I'm going to have to pass on the cucumber, I like my food to go in my mouth not the other end. lol I have used toys before though so I don't think I'll have to worry about him hurting me and having a horrible experience because of the pain. I'm pretty much good to go in that way. Yep, that's me, ready for action.
Posted Mon Mar 05, 2007 02:51 AM
I know you can't have a good relationship if you can't share these kind of things
I was still a virgin at 24.
When I decided to lose my virginity, I definately let him know that was the case; he would've figured it out anyways. Why not let him know, so he can help to make it as comfortable as possible for you both.
Posted Mon Mar 05, 2007 03:04 AM